THE STRESS OF LIFE AND TRYING TO FIND THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

So.... I have been really down lately. I don't know what it is. I know why, I have PTSD... I hate using that as an excuse to being a lazy depressed lout but it is what it is.... I am in school and I am so behind.... I know I have only been in school for 3 and a half quarters but what the hell. I have never done this poorly. the last three quarters I have made the dean's list twice and the president's list once. This quarter I will be lucky to get a B average.

Sometimes I hate the fact that I went into the army. I know it was good for me in some aspects but look at me now was the trade off worth it? I guess that is the million dollar question for me. All the pain I go through all the damn pills I have to take... Sometimes I feel like I am over the age of 55 or 60. I mean come on I am not even 30 yet. (less than 2 months).

I am not giving up I have come to damn far to do that I just wish I could get my head right (it makes things a whole hell of a lot easier!) for once and for all. I am going to make some appointments at this place in Tacoma called the Vet center and try and get into a group or one on one or some damn thing. I am also going to for the 4th time try and get on some new meds that don't completely F#*@ me up. Anyway, I guess that is enough bitching for one night see ya and thanks for listening.